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you know you are old when jokes

Catherine Giordano Greensleeves Hubs from Essex, UK
Catherine Giordano Helga Silva Catherine Giordano Ruben Blanca Espana Catherine Giordano Krzysztof Willman from Parlin, New Jersey Stephanie Henkel Catherine Giordano Thelma Alberts Catherine Giordano Paula Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Mary Hyatt Bill De Giulio Rebecca Mealey from Northeastern Georgia, USA Paul Richard Kuehn from Udorn City, Thailand Catherine Giordano Liz Elias from Oakley, CA Catherine Giordano Julie K Henderson Catherine Giordano Julie K Henderson Kristen Howe Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Kristen Howe Loraine Brummer from Hartington, Nebraska Catherine Giordano Jo Alexis-Hagues from Bedfordshire, U. K Catherine Giordano Denise McGill Catherine Giordano Denise McGill Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Anne Morrison travmaj Catherine Giordano Mel Carriere Catherine Giordano Chris Mills from Missoula, Montana at least until March 2018 Catherine Giordano Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL Catherine Giordano Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada Catherine Giordano Dora Weithers Catherine Giordano Susan Hambidge from Hertfordshire, England Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Lorelei Cohen Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Australia Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano FlourishAnyway Lawrence Hebb from Hamilton, New Zealand Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Bill Holland from Olympia, WA Catherine Giordano Ann Carr Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano Catherine Giordano John Hansen Lori Colbo Rochelle Frank Catherine Giordano Patricia Scott I don't plan to grow old gracefully.

I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. Rita Rudner We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. Will Rogers The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. Erma Bombeck Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. Author Unknown An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.

The older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. George Burns I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Andy Rooney When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra. Will Rogers I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P. G. Wodehouse My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. Rita Rudner At my age, flowers scare me. George Burns I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. Rodney Dangerfield A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year.

I told him, '"At my age, I don't even buy green bananas. " Claude Pepper You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. George Burns Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. So far, this is the oldest I've been. George Carlin By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal How young can you die of old age? Steven Wright As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. Erma Bombeck Looking 50 is great if you're 60. Joan Rivers True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Woody Allen Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning. Bob Hope People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. Erma Bombeck I'm so old they've canceled my blood type. Bob Hope You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out. " Jerry Seinfeld The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. Jerry M. Wright People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my 87th birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. George Burns Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Collected from numerous websites

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