why does my mom verbally abuse me
Recognize normal parenting behavior. Kids and teens make mistakes sometimes; it's a part of growing up and being human. During times when you need guidance, support, or discipline, it's your parent's job to step in. It's important to be able to distinguish between what's natural disciplining and abusive behavior. In general, you can tell whether a parenting style is disciplining versus abuse from the level of anger exhibited by your parent. It's common for your parent to get angry or frustrated in the moment when you do something that breaks the rules.
However, when anger is driving the behavior or punishment, your parent is in the danger zone of abuse. Abuse involves words or actions that are done recklessly, knowingly, and with the intent to harm. Although you may not like strict disciplining, understand that parents enforce guidelines and set consequences to protect you and steer you towards positive development. You can try taking a look at some of your peers who have good relationships with their parents.
What are those relationships like? What kind of support and discipline do they receive from their parents?
Minimize time around your abusive parent(s), if you can. Sometimes the best response to abuse is to avoid the abuser. This may be easier said than done when you live at home with an abusive parent or parents. If you can, find ways to minimize your time with the parent when they are being abusive, either by finding a safe space inside your home or by spending time outside your home.
For example, if you sense that your parent is starting to become agitated or abusive, you might tell them that you need to get homework done, and go to your room. If you are able, get outside the house for a bit. Go to a park, go for a walk around the neighborhood, or spend some time at a friendБs house. Get involved in extracurricular activities or clubs at school that keep you out of the house and away from your parents.
These activities could also help you get scholarships to pay for school away from your parents. Find ways to regularly stay overnight with extended family or friends. You might offer to babysit younger cousins, housesit for out of town relatives, or take care of your elderly aunt's yard. Get a part time job so you can be out of the house. This could also allow you to save up money to move out when you're old enough.
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