why does my ex hate me when he dumped me
Long story short. My boyfriend and I lived together for 6 months together 9months. He broke up with me because of my insecurities. Fine. He said he needed space and that he doesn t want to see anyone anytime soon if ever. Okay being over dramatic but I took it as though he s not looking. Well to pick up my stuff he was acting weird towards me. After a pretty friendly break up (he even cried) things just felt like he could care less about me. I found out he s on a free dating site talking to girls who I thought weren t his type (piercings of the lip and tongue. When I jokingly Asked about those he said they were trashy) anyways, he said he s not talking or seeing anyone but he s allowed to look around. Very true. I just don t get how you can love me and say you need space and cry over me leaving and be so nice and act really hurt and claim you care so much about me then turn around and treat me like crap? He even talked his friends fiancГ into approving me for an apartment in his township (he s a cop) and when she called me she said he had nothing but nice things to say. I know I shouldn t care but I still love him.
I just hate who he s become. It seems like he s acting out. Any ideas or suggestions? Anything to help me see it from a different perspective. Not just one where I want him back so I make excuses for his actions. Thanks.
Some break-ups are amicable and others are so nass-teey. Some people stay friends after a breakup, and others want to forget they ever knew each other s name. Then there are exes that say you are going to remain friends, but then they start acting really cold and mean? S/he sees you and quickly walks away or ignores you altogether, or s/he talks to you (even sometimes initiates the conversation) only to start telling you how great his/her life is, now that you are not together. S/he goes out of his/her way to be affectionate and flirtatious with others when you are around and tells you about this or that great person s/he s seeing. S/he even talks about his/her (great) sex life and what this or that other woman/guy does with him/her. And whatever you say or do, all your best intentions are met with hostility, suspicion, resentment, irritation, anger, vindictiveness and worse.
Why would someone who said s/he loved you now be hurting youб intentionally? Some exes act mean because they really want you gone. б It s a passive aggressive behaviour where someone feels that if they are mean, cold and cruel to you, you ll get the message and leave them alone. This is especially the case if the person feels that you are in denial or are not accepting the fact that it is indeed over. You trying to hang on to him/her or be a part of his/her life б irritates him/her. Your hanging around б irritates an ex even more if you are still professing your undying love and commitment. Why doesn t s/he just tell you to get lost instead of intentionally trying to hurt you? If the break-up was not nasty or if s/he broke up with you, s/he may be struggling with a combination of pity and guilt. S/he feels pity for you because you are a really good human being, but s/he just doesn t have those romantic or love feelings for you anymore. S/he feels guilty that s/he can not love you as you love him/her and that in some ways makes him/her a bad person. The combination of pity and guilt gets under his/her skin, literally, making him/her angry at you for making him/her feel this way.
Your sad puppy-face doesn t help. Could it be that s/he still has feelings for you? It is possible that your ex is not over caring for you. His/her cold, mean and cruel behaviour is his/her way of trying to deal with the feelings s/he still has but does not want to feel. You can usually tell an ex is dealing with conflicted feelings by how they go back and forth. One day they are so loving and kind and the next mean and cruel. Their reaction to you reflects what they feel at that time or on that day. But if the person is angry, mean and cruel to you all the time, with no loving and caring breaks in between, they want you gone, like really gone! Just a word of caution. The sweet-and-mean intervals may also be a result of Bipolar Disorder. If your ex has a history of Bipolar, it may just be that they can t help themselves. Does s/he have to hate you that much and be so cruel? A majority of relationships where an ex acts cruelly post-break-up were toxic to begin with. It s rare for a healthy relationship to go toxic and unhealthy post-break-up.
For some exes, it s a power/control thing. If they can control how you feel, they control you. For others, they interpret your pain as you still care for him/her and that makes them feel good in a twisted way. If this is what is happening to you, and you are still trying to get your ex back, you need to ask yourself, Is this person treating me with love and respect? , Is this the kind of man or woman I want to spend the rest of my life with? , What kind of life would that be? Should you then leave yourб ex alone and move on? It depends. If this is your ex just being his/her usual mean and cruel self, it may be best for your own good to move away from the emotional abuse. But if your ex is a kind and caring person who would never act mean or cruel unless forced to, then you need to look at yourself. May be your refusal to accept reality or your your needy and clingy actions are forcing your ex to try to push you away. Work on changing you, and see if s/he starts warming up to you again. Sometimes it s him or her, but sometimes it s really you.
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