why does my ex appear in my dreams

Dreams about your ex are a very common theme at bedtime, especially after entering or leaving a relationship. If you or a loved one has been covering this ground at night, you may have questions about what it all might mean. on dreams and their meanings, we spoke to Ally Mead, who has studied dream analysis at the Jungian Institute of Los Angeles and offers channeled readings in addition to dream analyses, to get expert advice about the meanings of your or your loved oneБs dreams about exes. Note: While dream analysis is highly subjective, this post might provide some insight into why this dream occurred or is recurring. What do dreams about your ex mean? "Dreaming about an ex can mean many things depending on when the dream occurs and what happens during the dream," Mead says. "For example, if you're entering into a relationship with a new person, your psyche may still be trying to sort out the pluses and minuses of your old relationship. In this situation, your psyche is trying to ensure success with your new relationship. If your dreams about an ex seem garbled or unlike that person, it's likely a more symbolic dream. "
What can I learn about myself from dreaming about an ex? "Often, dreaming about an ex signifies unfinished business between you and your former lover," Mead says. "That doesn't necessarily mean that you're meant to be together -- or that you actually have to be around that person to deal with these issues. In fact, it may be best to look within and see where you're actually like your ex, or how the dynamic that existed between you may be enacting itself all over again in your life with a brand-new partner. " Are there any tricks to avoiding or inducing dreams about your ex? "Lucid dreaming helps you remember dreams and even interact with them in a more conscious way," says Mead. "However, it often takes a good deal of practice to do this.


I recommend that people ask their spirit guides and/or guardian angels to send a dream of an ex if it will help them release painful feelings. Interact in a safe way -- especially if there was abuse -- and try to forgive. The same goes for avoiding the dream. Ask them not to send it instead. " Beyond analysis, what cultural symbolism can be found in dreams about your ex? "I haven't found that one particular culture dreams about an ex-lover more than another," she says. "Dreams aren't logical that way, but it's always interesting when particular cultural symbols spring up in a dream, especially if that person isn't of that culture in this lifetime. For example, if a Canadian person dreams of the Adinkra moon and stars, a common symbol of love and relationships in West Africa, the dream automatically becomes richer and more meaningful as we plumb the depths and peel away the symbolic layers. " Who tends to have such dreams most frequently? "Dreaming about exes is very common -- particularly when entering or leaving a relationship -- because these are times when we're most vulnerable," Mead says. "We don't know where things are going, so our unconscious often goes into overdrive to help us establish firmer emotional ground. While some people feel guilty about it, especially if they're committed to someone else, it's really the mind's way of helping to heal and move on. " Does dreaming about an ex mean I still have feelings for that person? "It can, but some deeper analysis should be done before making that determination. Consider how you felt in the dream, what was happening around you and how the dream ended. [These details] provide clues about whether or not you still have feelings for that person.


Most of the time, however, dreams are symbolic and not literal. Your feelings are probably best directed toward healing whatever happened to make you exes in the first place. " A psychic since her childhood, Ally Mead offers a friendly, empowering approach in her work as the. She offers astrology, tarot, channeled readings and dream interpretations to clients and is also the author of Searching for Sassy: A L. A. Phone Pyschic's Tale of Life, Lust & Love. Mead has studied dream analysis at the Jungian Institute of Los Angeles and has provided celebrities readings at the Academy Awards. The more I talk with other men and women about their dream lives the more intrigued I am by what we dream of, how we dream, and whatБs really happening when particular people and events show up there. Our dreams are the subconscious processing we do while we sleep, and so they provide a window into a deeper world within for us. During our waking hours, our subconscious is busy piling up our emotional experiences in our subconscious. During sleep, we sort out, wash, and fold this subconscious Бlaundry. Б However, most of the time we neglect to then wake up and put the laundry away so we can make sense of things, learn, and see the wisdom our dreams deliver to us. БNight is when we are closer to ourselves, closer to essential ideas and feelings that do not register so much during the daylight hours. Б -Clarissa Pinkola Estцs: Women Who Run With the Wolves Becoming aware of and tending your dream life is ESSENTIAL to emotional and spiritual health.


Our subconscious communicates in image and story - so we can stop looking at these communications as literal representations of something to be FIXED and start with a heart of gratitude and curiosity instead. It shows us our deepest needs and desiresБ playing them on repeat with the symbols and stories of past loves until we wake up and GET IT, finally. Waking from an emotionally intense dream that has brought up anger, rage, jealousy, or even arousal Б when connected to an old boyfriend or girlfriend Б can become especially disturbing. When those dreams start reoccurring, we can begin to wonder if it means we still have feelings for the person or something that needs to be resolved in that relationship, which is quite confusing and even distressing when the old love is from ages ago Б whether thatБs our middle school, high school, or our young and free adult years. My own dreams about old boyfriends were almost always reoccurringБ and I wrestled for some time trying to pin down exactly why I was having them. IБm happily married. I have no contact with the old boyfriends now. So, what gives? Why do we dream about these flings, connections, and loves from our past? Why, even when we are happily partnered with someone for YEARS do we still have vivid recollections that evoke such emotional turmoil in us? As I dug in to my own psyche, dropped the judgement and fear of my own dreams, and got curious, I realized that there was ONE particular high school boyfriend who showed up very frequently and others who I rarely dreamed about. HereБs what I learned: ItБs not about him, itБs about me. The emotions, the turmoil, the struggleБ had absolutely nothing to do with needing that person back or wanting to reignite that romantic fire.


Instead, it has everything to do with wanting a part of ourselves back and wanting to reignite THAT fire. The reason we dream about people from our past and remember it in our waking hours is because thereБs something we need to PAY ATTENTION TO. When I found myself asking: Why THAT guy? Why THAT fling? Why not the boy I dated for years? Why the one I dated for hardly a month?! And, while I was at it Б why did he always appear as he was THEN and not as they are now (older, taller, less fit, etc. )? This old friend came as a messenger, a symbol of something to my subconscious, showing me a part of myself I had forgotten and longed to remember. Had I come across this part of myself in my waking hours, I would have shut it down instantly. But, to this dream, I listened. The boyfriend who appeared in my reoccurring dream had asked me to a 6th grade dance, passed notes with me for a week in 8th grade, and then dated me БofficiallyБ for a about a month in my sophomore year of high school Б likely due to the fact that I was a good friend of his sister. He turned out to be incredibly flaky, neglected to invite me to social gatherings with his friends, and we could barely hold a phone conversation. We had almost zero compatibilityБ except for the fact that I found him very physically attractive. You could have even called it carnal. How did I feel when I was with this person in the past? What residual emotions do I have from the dream? What part of me did he give me permission to be? What did he arouse in me that no one else hadБ that I miss in myself now? In what ways did I feel empowered in our relationship that I donБt now?

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