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why does my boyfriend touch me in his sleep

( by Anonymous Me and my boyfriend had sex before bed and it was great as usual but i went to sleep and he carried on watching tv. at around 1am i woke up slighty to my boyfriend moving the duvet off of me and then started touching my bum. i could feel he was on his knees and then he started to move my underwear to the side (i was laying on my side facing him) and started to gently lick my ******* i could also feel the bed shaking at this point and knew that he was masturbating vigorously. He only done this for a short while probably 10 -30 seconds if that. I was half asleep and let him finish because in the moment i was getting turned on but the next morning i felt so confused about what had happened. is my sex not good enough or is he just into me being asleep and seeing me in a vunerable state. The sexual stuff really doesnt bother me im just confused as to WHY he felt he needed to do that while i was sleeping. should i be worried or not?. i dont feel violated just really really confused! We have such good sex and i know hes really into me
My boyfriend didn t have sex with me He put his fingers inside of me, touched my asshole, felt me all over where I am uncomfortable with him touching me when we are together and I am awake. Everywhere where I have said no to him - he felt me all over when he thought I was passed out and couldn t wake up.

I woke up to him masturbating and touching me. Putting his fingers inside of me. I felt like he was using me like a man uses a magazine. he then went to the bathroom. came back. whimpered. (i think he thought i was awake and knew) then it seemed when he thought i still hadnt woken up he took his phone out with the bright flashlight setting and looked at my vagina and touched me. put his finger in me. I have no idea if he filmed or took pictures. I didn t react. I didn t know how to react and I felt paralyzed and sedated but awake. I felt that I had caught him and met a part of him I didn t know existed. Not reacting - now I know that he is capable of an act like this. He had no idea I was awake. This is the first time I have seen him and spent time with him over night because I have been staying in the hospital and I am being treated with different therapies for depression/anxiety and problems eating because I have been so depressed (family event caused me to spiral into depression. ) I am in such a vulnerable state. How could he do this and think it was okay. I could tell he felt guilty the next day - he kept testing me in certain things he said to see if I knew and I pretended I slept solid through the night. I wanted to see if he would tell me and i wanted to wait before i made any big decisions i might regret. did he feel bad because he was afraid of being caught or did he actually feel bad about it.

I wanted to think things through before I reacted and decided we can never be together. I wanted to see if I could be around him and not feel disgusted. and not react until I got back to the hospital and had the right support around me. I got back to the hospital and my first instinct was to call him and tell him exactly how it made me feel, that i know what he did and that we can never be together again. he said he wants to work on being a better man. How can i ever trust him again? I said no to him before we fell asleep - he pressured me to have sex and i said no! I can t because I am healing and feel anxious etc. I just want to lay with you - nothing sexual So i fell asleep after taking the medication to put me to sleep and he did it himself. for himself. How selfish. How perverted. It made me feel like an object. he used me like a dirty magazine. But I love him so much. he broke my heart! what else is he capable of if he doesn t get caught? i question if he has done it before while I am sleeping and unaware. I question what else he is capable of. he told me I was curious and i missed touching you I feel so confused. he missed touching me?. for himself! not for me. cuz it is not like he woke me up and asked for us to be together. he knew I would say no cuz I was adamant before we fell asleep that it is not what I wanted.

Should I work through this with him? Or will I be disrespecting myself and making what he did okay? My heart is broken. He broke my heart. I don t know what to do. I told myself if anyone ever violated me I couldnt be with them again. We all have our demons. maybe this is a demon in him. a perversion i can accept him for and help him with? i dont know what i am saying. i feel like if i accept him back it is like i am okay with rape culture. i dont know if i am justifying and making what he did okay. i dont want to do that. i dont want to minimize how this made me feel. There were no condoms around. He would never have sex unless he used a condom because he doesnt want kids. I question if he would have had sex with me with i was sleeping if there were condoms. I have no idea. I am questioning everything about his character. He admitted to me that he molested me and he took a photo and deleted it right after. Also at the beginning of the relationship he said he did look at me with his bright light setting of his phone and take a photo. I feel so violated. I recorded the entire conversation where he admits he molested me. Should I press charges?

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