why does my boyfriend still have an online dating profile

Okay, so you met him online but youre wondering why he hasnt deleted his
online dating profile yet. You can even see hes been active on his profile recently and youre not sure what this means. There are 5 plausible reasons why the guy youre dating still has an active online dating profile. 1. Hes just looking for casual flings or one-nighters. Lets be honest, you have to sift through a lot of online dating profiles to determine who is looking to get laid, versus the ones that truly want a relationship. If his profile is still active, he may think things are just casual between you two. 2. He wants to keep his options open. Some people find it hard to shut down their online dating profile in fear that there could be someone better out there. Its the idea that the grass is always greener, a mindset that often yields unsatisfactory dating lives. Hunting through profiles can be addictive and if this guy is continually on the look out for the next best thing, why bother? 3. Hes really bad at cheating discreetly. Number 3 applies to those that have established a relationship after a few dates and have had a discussion regarding monogamy. In this circumstance, he may just be nave to think you would not log back into your account to check if he still has an active online dating profile. Trust your instincts. 4. Its too soon to go off the site. You cant expect him to delete his online dating profile immediately until you have developed a rapport. In a perfect world, you would meet and both of you would immediately delete your profiles. However, each relationship moves at its own pace. In this circumstance, the relationship is not serious enough to delete the account yet, but if things are moving ahead and he still has an active online dating profile, theres a problem. 5.


He forgot to close his account. This is the least likely option out of the five, but honestly some guys don t even think about it, especially if it s a free site he s not getting billed for. Chances are its one of the other reasons, but hey, you never know. The best thing to do if youre questioning the status of your relationship and why his online dating profile is still active is to communicate with him! If youve developed enough of a rapport with this guy and youre ready for a relationship, talk to him. Dont accuse him of still having his online dating profile active, rather approach the situation from a place where youre expressing how you feel and what youre looking for out of the relationship. At that point, you two can discuss deleting your online dating profiles. Most of the time you wont have to ask him to delete his online dating profile. When you like someone, you just do it. Are you tired of meeting people online? Come out to a today! Dear Eva, Id been cheerfully single for about 3. 5 years, and wasnt looking for anyone when I met a wonderful man. We started seeing each other initially as friends we have a lot of shared interests and then one day he jumped on me and the relationship became increasingly physical. So far, so good until we were both looking at something on his laptop, and a dating website came up as one of his most visited sites. I asked him about this, and told him that while I had no wish to pry into his personal life, the question for me was whether he was looking to keep his options open for now, it being early days. He denied it, said that hed been telling any interested parties that he was involved with someone (me) and that hed look into taking down the profile.


I thought no more of it, apart from a feeling that something was off then I visited the website about a month later. Cut a long story short, hed logged in that day, not just to that site but to a related one. A quick Google search on his user name revealed another three, all with very recent logins. I raised this with him, and he still swore blind that he hadnt met up with anyone since meeting me and was responding that he wasnt available for a relationship. At that stage I was ready to end the relationship and leave him to it. He was still really, really insistent that he wasnt looking for anyone else, and would look again at cancelling the sites. We really do get on very well, which is why Im hanging fire at the moment. Hes also a bit of a dipstick when it comes to computers (were both in our 50s and havent grown up with them, though Im a lot more computer literate than he is) and given how Ive seen him struggle with searches/purchases on eBay, I can appreciate that he might not be able to get his head round hiding a profile on a website so I havent cut and run. Yet. Any thoughts? Hey, you. It is true that lots of people set up online dating profiles without ever taking action or using them to meet someone. This has been most acutely demonstrated over the last week by the, which revealed that the site had millions of straight male subscribers, but very few women signed up. In other words, many of the guys who claimed that they never used it to meet women were probably telling the truth: there were few women for them to meet. So I dont think its impossible that the man you are dating is not actually using the site with intent to meet someone, so much as to flirt or assess his worth on the dating market.


Anyone who has done online dating seriously will confirm that there always seems to be people lurking on the edges, folks who are up for a chat but not for a meeting. This may not be the most polite way to go about things, but its their prerogative. But that said, even if this guy is an idiot with computers who isnt getting together in person with women hes meeting online, if hes continuing to log in, its not unreasonable to conclude that hes doing this to feel that hes either keeping his options open, or that hes looking for the ego boost that comes from strangers finding him attractive. Neither reflects well on him, or his self-esteem, or the way that he feels about your relationship. It is very kind of you to look for the best in this situation. Im not sure that the man youre seeing is being kind enough back. An extra tricky thing here is the kind of research that its taken you to reveal this activity. It would not be unreasonable for him to feel a bit miffed that youre checking up on him behind his back; you are. But its also not unreasonable for you to feel a bit miffed that hes doing exactly what you feared. Heres what I suggest: have an open, clear conversation with him about the kind of commitment youre looking for. Dont center it around whether or not hes talking to women online; focus on the reality of your in-real-life relationship, and where youd like to see it go. Six weeks isnt too early to have a conversation about commitment. I think that conversation will help you learn pretty quickly whether you think its worth giving him a bit more time or whether its time for you to move on. Love,

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