why does he say he loves me but ignores me

What I m gonna say is probably different from what others say, and I may sound like an asshole for this, but I want to be honest. My question would be what is the content of these messages you re sending him?. Unless it s useful stuff, like things that somehow plug into the utilitarian aspects of your existence, I would feel no particular obligation to respond to you. There are a few examples of how I d respond, based on what the content of the messages is. If you say something like Just watched a funny skit in SNL! lol, then as far as I m concerned this is not a message requiring a response. There s no question in the message. When he says it s just the way he is, perhaps he means he doesn t like to add un-usable information to a person s info stream.


If you say something like Hey do you have a pair of running shoes I could borrow? , this implies you re looking for a response and I wouldn t be surprised if he got back rather soonish with something like yeah, got some old Nikes I m not using or no, I ve got a pair but I use them every day. Taken in a negative light, your sending him messages and expecting a response from him might seem to him like a little power game you re playing. On a small level, it seems like you re looking for validation of your relationship, but perhaps he sees the relationship as existing in meaningful exchanges, and simply expecting a response just because is like requiring him to prostrate himself before a king - a gesture that he responds to your will, with no actual utilitarian benefit from the action other than the symbolic I said jump, and you jumped.


Not saying that this is your real intention, to somehow demonstrate dominance over him, but in some ways when a person requires a response for no reason other than to validate our relationship, then that s saying that the relationship is based on this type of power game. If you were asking him real questions, or perhaps
talking to him about topics he cares about, and he s not responding, that would be an indication he doesn t really care for you. But if you re sending him pings just to get the pingback, he might see this as you just wanting to see that you can get him to squirm at your prompting.


Just my two cents. TL;DR: arbitrary communication expecting a response can be interpreted as a power game, and he may not want to play because he doesn t want to be your bitch In case you feel that the guy you like is starting to ignore you, there are three questions that you really need to ask yourself? I. Does the guy you like really ignore you? Is there a particular time that the guy showed some significant interest that made you believe that he had interest in you? On the other hand, was there a time when a dude had to spend time with you but after the moment passed, he went on with his life? II. What could be the reason why he chooses to ignore you?


Are there some clear signs that you have noticed in the recent past that shows that he ignores you? Could it be something that you said? Consider the different ways in which he ignores you and finds out if you can for sure say that he has chosen to ignore you. If possible, try to remember the exact time when he started ignoring you. III. What is the impact of him ignoring you? Definitely, you will be hurt by the fact that the guy you like chooses to ignore you. This is particularly the case if you find him special to you. However, you will need to consider the impact of his decision. Is the guy a key part of your life? Is he worth your effort in trying to understand why he has started to ignore you?

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