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why do women stay in touch with ex boyfriends

Well this woman must revel in all the attention. My partner did this too. He was "friends" with a woman in another country, only I later found out that they'd had an affair years ago (she's married and he'd talk occasionally about how she was in an unhappy marriage blah blah). He even said nothing had happened when I asked again. Lies. In the end I told him about photos of them that I'd found online and he confessed. But there was a tonne of drama to follow, especially when the woman started shit-stirring. People should be upfront about this shit. If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing. Way to damage trust. They should also put current partners in front of exes, prioritise the current partner and show that they're important, cutting contact with the ex if need be. And the ex should respect this. Real friends don't drive a wedge between a couple.
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt?

Add your answer to this question! A female reader, P, writes (10 June 2011): bad or good relationship-doesnt matter-if youve been intimate with the ex when you were a couple-you split up-you move on to another relationship-and your in love supposebly-and the new love doesnt want you to talk to the ex? then why would you? why would you want to? your in love remember? or are you? A female reader, P, writes (10 June 2011): i think its crap. when people break up,they should move on. i do feel theres some sense of hope,just in case the present relationship doesnt work out that they-the ex will have another chance. sad for the current one in the relationship-we suffer for this. its not fair. i hate knowing my boyfriend talks with his ex. they were together for 5 years. shes important to him. i dont like it at all!!!!! A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): We do it for the same reason men do it. keep the lines open should it not work out with our current relationships.

A female reader, P, writes (22 October 2010): I'm a woman and I would never want to stay friends with an ex, unless before the relationship we had been very good friends. A female reader, P, writes (22 October 2010): I am a woman,but what you are talking about always baffles me too. I never did that,- if it was a bad break up for obvious reasons, and if it was a "good " break up- you still need to keep your distance for some time to safely put the experience in the past, and once you've done that, you generally find out that you don't particulary care about being close to that person any more. The only thing I can think of is that women tend to be acquisitive. They like to accumulate. Objects, and persons, and memories, even when they don't need them any more. Have you ever tried to convince a woman to clean up her closet and throw away all the old clothes that she has not been wearing since at least 5 years.?

A female reader, P, writes (22 October 2010): I don't know about other women, but I could never stay friends with anyone I once dated seriously. Too many complicated emotions are involved. I believe in making a clean break, staying friends would only slow or prevent the healing process after a breakup. The only exception would probably be if things ended on good terms, but even in that case, a 'break' would be necessary in order to get over seeing that person as more than a friend. A female reader, P, writes (22 October 2010): I am one of these woman, I keep in touch with all my exs. And I am there for them 100% when they have any problems. Am i good friends with them? no. But I am there for them. I think the connection I once had with them stops me from cutting all ties.

I once loved the person very much. I find it difficult to cut someone out of my life forever just because we broke up. Its sad for me to think that one person who meant so much to me at one point has to be cut out from my life. There was a strong connection there. I recently met with my ex husband for a drink for the first time since I left him 2 years ago. I didnt feel anything for him, just a little weird. And yes part of me wanted him to see me and see how happy i was and how good i was looking. Maybe the sick side of me wanted him to want me a little. But honestly I wouldnt worry about it to much. Encourage her to be honest about it. The only thing that would lead me to believe there was anything wrong is if she was to continue to be dishonest. If theres nothing going on she wont hide it from you. Especially if you encourage her to be honest with you.

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