why do we shout when we are angry
Why do we raise our voice and begin to yell at people when we argue? Are you the type of person that automatically increases your voice so that you can create a situation in which you become the dominant speaker? If so you may be damaging your ability to be a better communicator and secure cooperation. People telegraph their needs and feelings, whether they are aware of it or not. Probably over half of the meaning that others attach to our spoken message comes, not from the words themselves, but from the tone of voice. Yelling happens when we hit our thumb with a hammer, when we are frightened, or when we are excited. Although more frequently, yelling is a sign of aggression. Raising our voice creates stress and tension that often escalates into an argument.
WePthink of a bully as a person that yells or shouts at others to dominate their actions. The louder the voice, the higher the intensity of anger that is created, whichPcan quickly lead to physical confrontations. The feeling conveyed in our voice makes more impact and is remembered longer than the words actually spoken. That s why we can t always recall the exact words spoken, but clearly remember how we felt. The tone (its pitch, volume and clarity) all combine to give a listener clues about the way the message needs to be interpreted, conveying our mood and meaning of our statement. We have to be careful not to assume that just because a person yells, that we are interpreting that signal correctly.
PWe must look at the whole cluster of signals to see if they support our reading of that person. For instance, a person who shouts may be hard of hearing or are in a noisy environment
Yelling or raising our voice can be a method used to control the situation and dominate another person. We get loud to force the other person into submission and listen to what we have to say. This in turns tells them to comply with what we want or there will be punishing consequences. However listening rarely occurs during a submissive state. Rather the listener is waiting for the speaker to pause, in order to lash out with a rebuttal to defend against this verbal attack. For many, shouting justifies the use of force, as they respond to a verbal assault with physical force in an attempt to preempt the threatening behavior by another person.
Therefore, it is important that we regulate our voice to a volume or tone that does not imply aggressive behaviors or dominance over the other person. Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset? the disciples thought for a while, and one of them said Because we lose our calm, we shout for that. But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you? Isn t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you re angry? The disciples gave him some other answers but none satisfied the master.
When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance. What happens when two people fall in love? They don t shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.
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