why do we get bored in relationships

I have a very strange situation, been with the same man for over 2 years. I love him dearly and he is a great man, wonderful father and a very loving person. Every night after work he is on his xbox with other grown men playing and talking together, i am not a gamer. That has been a huge thing for me, but he works a very demanding job, so I really don't have any right to gripe. A few months ago I found out that he had a brief affair, he swears it was emotional and not physical. So to say I have a few trust issues is small to say. This is where it gets confusing for him, I've turned in some gold and have it in an account that I have not touched. I also have not given him in info to transfer it into his bank account and add me to his account.


Im terrified now that with all the time I've spent alone during our relationship, and with how I feel at the moment that I won't be able to test him with that. And money is a big issue. He works fulltime, I'm out of work, first from an injury at work and surgery and now to chemo, I have 3 treatments left. There is little effort on his part, and I've tried speaking to him about it. He can be very selfish and I get that. I am a few years older and I used to be selfish, so I do get that. But the money in my account is not something I want to spend on power tools and fixing up a new truck I do not drive. I do not wish to go shopping for his boys and try to compete with their mom who gives them everything.


I saved that for retirement and for an emergency. I read shit like this and read how I have to change to keep him. To make him happy. since when is being in a relationship responsible only to 1 person? Since when should I have to change who I am to make him happy? Shouldn't it be both who are working together to be happy?
very relationship I have been in has ended because I have found someone else while still in the relationship. I know this is common but the problem is that I never feel guilty, and as I am currently in a long-term partnership, and we have a young child, this has become more of an issue.


For a couple of years now I have had a crush and an ongoing flirtation with an engaged colleague, including sexting with words and pictures. My problem is that I need this distraction in my life в I get bored very easily and my sex drive is through the roof, especially with the anti-depressants I am currently taking. Also, we share a love of pornography, something I can't talk to anyone else about in the same way. I have searched sites and forums about my issue, but everything about women being unfaithful depicts the woman as a victim somehow. I feel unrepresented and alone. When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here.


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