why do we hurt the ones we love the most
Were angry and frustrated with ourselves. By trying to hurt them, we try in fact to hurt ourselves. We think we dont deserve anything good, so we aim at the good things we have in life and unconsciously try to destroy them. We expect too much from them. We nurture the secret hope that they can help us, that they can do all the things we are not capable of doing; moreover, that they have to do them, because of the love we invest in them. When they dont, we feel disappointed and the natural instinct is to make them regret. They are the ones who have the courage to be honest and tell us the truth, even when it hurts. And even though we know it is the truth, it still hurts and the pain can cause violent reactions. Yes, we love them dearly but there are things about them that annoy us terribly and we know were never going to be able to change them. Its like living with our own body. Sometimes it is a blessing, other times a nuisance. Sometimes it gives us a lot of satisfaction, other times it drives us mad, but there is not much we can do about it cause its ours. We feel misunderstood. We wish they could make a journey inside our head and see things the way we see them, just because we think it is the right way.
We simply cant understand why they think differently and how they can miss something that seems so simple and obvious to us. We misunderstand them because were not always willing to try to understand them. When we feel tired and tormented, burdened with our own faults and deficiencies, we find it difficult to deal with theirs. We are influenced by what we see and hear on TV. Violence, melodramatic scenes, pain and suffering, self-destruction they all can leave marks in our subconscious and develop patterns that make us think and react in a certain way. Sometimes we are tempted to do what our favorite soap opera character would do, even if that means hurting the one we love. We love them but in the same time we hate them because they know our weaknesses and theres no way we can hide. The mask we wear in relation with other people is put aside and all the things we usually try to hide come to the surface. We hurt them to give them comfort later. We all have the inner need to cuddle, to protect the ones we love and we feel we have the right to hurt them for the very reason that we love them so much and well make up for it later.
We trust them and we know deep in our hearts that, no matter what we do, they wont stop loving us. We feel safe to take our frustrations on them because we think there will be no consequences. We hurt them most of the times because they let us hurt them.
They say we hurt the one s we love the most, but why? This has forever been a question that goes unanswered and drives me 50 shades of crazy. I love you, but I hurt you the most. Why do I do that? Hurting the one s we love doesn t even begin to make sense and the thought is far more complicated to fathom. Shouldn t we hurt the one s that give us a legitimate reason to hurt in return - the one s who legitimately create a rage deep within us or the one s who hurt us so deeply that the edges of our heart becomes comparable to pieces of shattered glass? I don t know if the fact of having a closer relationship, a deeper bond, or a greater affection has anything to do with hurting you, but all I can say is I m sorry. From the deepest, darkest pit of the bottom of my heart I am so sorry. I ve read that Psychology says, love relationships are mirrors of the inner self.
Basically what this means is that we are more likely to take into consideration what comes from our loved one s, which ultimately explains our times of overreacting and times of hurt towards the one s we love. Unconsciously, we are much more likely to believe our loved one s when they point out criticisms and put-downs. Thus, causing us to take to heart and feel more criticized than we would if similar point outs were made by strangers. The psychological aspect behind this still doesn t make complete sense to me, if love isn t meant to be hurtful then why do I hurt you the most? Someone please answer this for me before the entire universe goes ape-shit. I take (what seems to be everything) out on you - stress, bad grades, shitty professors, roommate shenanigans, Aunt P and her monthly visit, the way you say something and my emotional psychopathic ass interprets it the wrong way. Everything basically. You don t deserve it, and I apologize with everything in me for the times that I have and the times that I will hurt you when all you re doing is loving me. Just remember that these times are temporary, but my love for you is permanent.
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