why do victims return to their abusers

Number two is shocking! People commonly believe that once someone finds the courage to break free from an, he or she will never go back. But there is enough evidence all around the world to negate the belief. Although it seems illogical and counterintuitive, victims of spousal abuse keep going back to their abuser for reasons which are only clear to them. Many of these reasons are emotional. For example, the abusers may manipulate the victims into believing that they will mend their ways. They may also stay back for the sake of their children. Sometimes the reason is purely economical as the victims may not be in a position to provide for themselves or their children. Due to their dependence on the abusers, victims sometimes return to an abusive relationship.


However, there could be lesser-known reasons why men and women are drawn to their abusers despite their negative experiences. Psychologist
reveals these surprising reasons why people keep going back to their abusers. The victim has an obsessive temperament: According to Dr Mukerji, the victim may develop an obsessive fixation with the abuser. In such cases, despite all the physical and mental assaults he or she is subjected to, the victim keeps rationalising the abuserБs actions. Even if the victim maintains distance with the abuser for a while, the temptation to return is strong due to his or her obsessive tendencies.


The opposite sex parent was an abuser: Dr Mukerji says, БIf the first man or woman in the victimБs life, in other words, the opposite sex, there is a good chance that the person may pick an abusive partner. Б Witnessing abuse in the household as a child can lead them to believe abuse is part and parcel of any relationships. БWhen the parent alternates between being loving and being abusive, the child will grow up with a very confused notion of love,Б says Dr Mukerji. The victim has low self-esteem: Believing that he or she may never find someone as good as their abusive partner may lead many victims back to their tormentors. is one of the biggest reasons why people chose to stay in abusive relationships says Dr Mukerji.


The victim has faced romantic rejections: БAlthough such cases are rare, victims who have gone through a string of romantic failures may also hang on to their abuser,Б says Dr Mukerji. The fear of facing the world alone may sometimes compel them to stay with their spouses. Why do Abuse Victims Stay? You re telling me that your husband beat you up. I would never put up with that abuse. Why don t you just leave him. We often put ourselves in the place of the victims and imagine ourselves leaving at the first signs of abuse. But breaking free of abuse is not simply a matter of walking out the door.


Leaving is a process. It can be difficult for many people to understand why a person would stay in an abusive relationship. But there are many reasons. Strong emotional and psychological forces keep the victim tied to the abuser. Sometimes situational realities like a lack of money keep the victim from leaving. The reasons for staying vary from one victim to the next, and they usually involve several factors. Emotional reasons for staying feeling helpless, hopeless and trapped Situational reasons for staying fear of emotional damage to the children over the loss of a parent, even if that parent is abusive lack of information regarding

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