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why do some men emotionally abuse women

While abuse of women is widely known, what is not widely recognized is that men can be victims of
too. It's unfortunate, but true, that women and men can be just as emotionally abusive towards men as they can be towards women. And emotional abuse of men is every bit as unacceptable as emotional abuse of women. Emotional abuse of men is more common than once thought although the exact numbers on its occurrence aren't known due to lack of study. In domestic abuse, about 40% of cases involve violence of women against men. What is Emotional Abuse of Men? Emotional abuse of men is the same as emotional abuse of women: it is acts, including verbal assault, that make a person feel less self-worth or dignity. Emotional abuse of men makes them feel like less of a person. Some believe that men are more sensitive to emotional abuse than woman and can "brush off" more easily. Male victims of emotional abuse who are called a "coward," "impotent," or a "failure," may be more affected by these remarks than their female counterparts. Controlling and emotionally abusive behaviors elicited by women may include: Like women, many men stay in. This can be for many reasons but certainly in part due to the toll that emotional abuse can take on a man's self-worth. He may not believe he is worthy enough to leave the relationship or he may believe he deserves the emotional abuse. What Can Male Victims of Emotional Abuse Do? Unfortunately, due to lack of awareness, programs for male victims of emotional abuse are almost nonexistent.

However, private counselling and general anti-violence advocacy groups may be helpful. Leave the relationship, if possible More information on:. next: ~ ~ Do Emotionally Abusive Men Know They Are Abusive? Do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive? is a question often asked by their emotionally abused partners. Why do victims of abuse need to ask? Because they are looking for an answer that will make them feel better. When emotionally abused women ask Do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive? their preferred No, they dont. If emotionally abusive men dont know they are abusive, that may well mean that they have something wrong with them like Narcissism. It means various things to them. These men were just made abusive, and cant be changed. This takes their victims into the realm of praying for the serenity to accept what cannot be changed. It may even give them a License to Stay with this man whose abusiveness is an affliction. If and when these abusers finally See The Light and realize how abusive and beastly theyve been, theyll be instantly mortified, deeply repentant, and utterly transformed. Appealing a fantasy as this may be, the effort involved in trying to make abusers see The Error of Their Ways would be better used in trying to turn base metal into gold. Thats alchemy for you, and alchemy just doesnt work.

Theyre not really bad, just grossly insensitive. Many, many emotionally abused women dont want to believe people they know and love can be deliberately cruel. Despite all the evidence to the contrary. For many women, this faith that their loved one cant be deliberately cruel actually grows out of their reluctance to admit to themselves that they have lived through a great deal of cruelty. Still, the key question doesnt go away: do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive? Because, if they dont, how come they are so good at knowing exactly where, and how, to hurt? That cant just be an accident, can it? My guess is that very few emotionally abusive men would own that abusive label. Theyd argue that they were driven to their bad behaviour by their partners shortcoming. Theyd argue that theyre just regular guys, driven to whatever lengths they go to by the unreasonable, endless PROVOCATION of a needy, difficult, and ungrateful partner. They would cast themselves as the victim of the piece: How can you possibly blame me for being driven to distraction by this witch who is unworthy to share my home, my bed, and my bank account etc. etc.? Some of them might admit that their behavior has dropped, momentarily, below their alleged, normal high standards. But they admit it only with a view to reclaiming the moral high ground.

Anyone who is prepared to admit their own occasional shortcomings has to be pretty good, right? What I know for sure is this: emotionally abusive partners consciously and deliberately set out to hurt, humiliate and control their partners. They see that as the best way to go about satisfying their own emotional needs. They see what they do as creating a relationship that satisfies their need for power and control over another human being. So, the dilemma remains: do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive? And the answer is: When women ask, Do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive? theyre asking the wrong question. Emotionally abusive men dont embrace your perspective and your values. Its like that old song: you like tomatoes and I like tomaaatoes:. They dont honestly see anything wrong with it. Even if they apologize at the time, their abiding memory will be of responding appropriately to your appalling behaviour. In the end, an emotionally abusive man is always in the right, and his partner is always in the wrong. Simple as that. When women ask, Do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive? they blind themselves to the reality. Emotionally abusive men dont care. Think of an emotionally abusive relationship as some kind of crazy computer game: Mr Abusive is the superhero who scores points by landing assaults (emotional and/or physical) on his partner.

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