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why do people hit themselves in the head

Disclaimer: I have not been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder. I think Aspergers Syndrome is very likely, but Im not yet certain. Ive had something which conforms to typical descriptions of autistic meltdowns for most of my life. Through my twenties, I would usually bang my head on something during a meltdown. Then I went through a period of several years where I bit my forearm instead. Since my mid-thirties, meltdowns have gradually decreased in frequency. (About once or twice a year now, depending on stress. ) Occasionally I bang my head on something, but more often I will hit myself on the sides of my head with whatever you call the flat side of a fist that is opposite the knuckles.


I sometimes wind up giving myself a black eye. Its hard to explain. The desire to whack at my head is sometimes more than I can resist. I think its like kicking a malfunctioning machine in frustration. There is another element I dont fully understand. it seems as if the pain is a kind of super-stim, something Im compelled to do to counteract the meltdown. On occasionnot oftenI have bopped myself lightly on the head when Ive said, done or heard something silly or stupid. That is completely different.


I would usually do that in front of people, whereas I try to get away from people before a meltdown reaches the head-bashing stage. Im pretty sure the gentle head-bop (or head thump on the desk) is a motion normal people sometimes do, too. somewhat comic, though it often doesnt come off as funny as it was supposed to. The non-meltdown head-bop can be self-mocking, but definitely not punishing. Im not sure about the meltdown one. There could be an element of self-punishing, or even ritualized self-annihilation; but as I wrote above, it seems more like some kind of super-stim.
Same here, I literally punched a hole in the ground once over Boktai way back on the GBA. And when I was fired once, I punched a dent into a walk-in freezer door and practically broke my hands.


I've stopped doing it for the most part. Yep. Yeah, I think that'll do it! I was watching a YouTube video the other day in which a Christian teenager was talking about how he avoided masturbation by punching himself very hard in the testicles whenever he felt the urge. To masturbate. Not for pained nuts. I usually just grab an empty, plastic soda bottle and hit the nearest metal surface though.


It makes a fuckton of noise and inflicts zero damage, except to the bottle. So it's perfect. I usually enjoy saving up glass bottles and throwing them savagely into the local bottle bank, cackling whilst I do so. I doubt I can get away with going down to the local landfill and banging metal pipes against the skips any more; the foreman keeps leaning out of his hut to bellow obscenities and fling handfuls of pens. I think we might be on the way to becoming "that family" in our neighbourhood. Yeah. Anyway, point is, I try not to direct all that negative chiness outwards any more.

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