why do social services get involved with families
Quick answer, no. Social services have made me change my address, engaged in parenting assessments etc, give my child to his grandparents and put me through hell and back with no proof and only a child protection plan. What i'm learning now is the way they cornered me into signing a vollentary placement to hi grandparents was wrong and that i had the right to object which they certainly didnt give me the option to do so I was made to think that if I said no, he would go to foster care and this would make me an awful mother. I was made to remove his clothes and I did everything they asked and they still have no proof that anything ever happened to my child and it wasnБt even me under question but my БthenБ boyfriend and the agreement was that I could never see him again if I wanted my son back which I didnБt and I cut all contact, moved house, changed numbers, donБt go on facebook! IБm going to look into compensation for me and my family as I feel I was completely let down and that they abused their power and the meetings were always cancelled last minute, some people never received minutes of the meeting even though his real father did and he has NO contact with his father and till this day he hasnБt bothered to turn up for a meeting or for any contact. The social worker held back important information from me and my words were twisted. If I said I felt sad and I missed my child and I cried at the meetings, I was asked if I should visit the doctor to make sure I was emotionally stable. If I agreed with everything they asked of me and didnБt query anything, I was accused of not caring or giving a crap about my child. If I said i felt I was in a position where I didnБt know what to say as the woman completing my parenting assessment asked me if I wanted a boyfriend and I said I didnБt and no I wasnБt interested.
She said this was very worrying. So I felt if I had said yes I did want a partner she would of wrote in her report that I was already thinking about a man and I hadnБt even got my son back yet. So I was honest and I confessed to her that I felt she was putting me in a situation where I didnБt know the correct thing to say anymore. I then received the outcome of the parenting assessment a few weeks later and she twisted my words to say she felt the answers I were giving to her questions were the ones I thought she wanted to hear and I wasnБt being open and honest. Don't trust social services. Don't assume they have you or your childs best intrests and whatever you do don't give in. If they don't have proof they have to take you to court (an option i missed out on) and this will be lengthly, costly and above all they have to gather evidence for this. I'm completely at witts end after only just starting a rehabilitation program after nearly a year from hell. Also just had a meeting today and they said that it was in my sons best intrests to see his gparents every weekend, all weekend. I argued and said this wasn't fair as i work all week and i deserve to see my son after not having him for months on end. No one backed me up obviously because me and the gparents dont get on and were delighted with this arangement. Im sick of everyone elses concerns and opinions being taken onboard but not mine. They have to wean him off his grandparents care and his grandparents off caring for him but i was given no gradual weening process. MY son was taken, cruely and quickly and my feelings were never ever taken into consideration.
I've just about had enough!!
Welcome to the ParentsБ Discussion Forum. My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that you are feeling so worried and scared about your child because of children services involvement with you. It is really great that you now recognise that you made choices which put yourself and your child at risk. This is a big step to be able to admit this and I am sure this has helped in your work with children services and being able to have your child back in your care on more than one occasion. The problem you seem to have now is that your childБs father due to be released from prison, you may want him to have contact with the child. I think you will need to think about this and how it might impact on you and your child. You have been working hard to show children services that you understand and recognise the risks the domestic violence can lead to for your child and you. Children services want you to sign a written agreement which will set out their expectations once your childБs father is released from prison. They recognise that he might well want to have contact but that will need to be managed in a safe way so there is no risk to your child or you. The agreement could say that he will not have unsupervised contact with the child; that he cannot be with you when your child is present. He may have to risk assessed before contact can take place. You would be given an opportunity to see the agreement and discuss it with the social worker before signing it. If you wanted to get legal advice first, then you are entitled to say you do not want to sign with having this first.
If you refuse to sign then, as you say, children services might have concerns about whether you would put your child at risk. You have been open with them about the domestic abuse in the relationship. You mention that you would be with your childБs father if he addressed the issues that lead to domestic abuse. He could contact Respect on 0808 802 4040 for information about domestic abuse and if alcohol is an issue attend a local alcohol service. Children services can carry out their own risk assessment if you decide you want to be with him. Consider very carefully if this would be good for you and your child, children service would want to be sure that you can be a protective factor for your child. Just to put your mind at rest, children services cannot just snatch your child away. They can only remove a child with your consent or a court order. If they think a child is at risk of immediate harm they could ask the police to remove the child to a place of safety. This removal lasts for 72 hours following which you can agree to it continuing or children services would have to go to court. If children services decide to go to pre proceedings then you would be given a public law outline letter (PLO). You would attend a meeting with your solicitor to discuss what you need to do to prevent court proceedings being started. Please see our Please also read the information on our website about domestic violence which is and will give you more details about children services in this situation. You may wish to speak to an adviser and, if so, please telephone our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9. 30 a. m. to 3. 00 p. m. Monday to Friday. I hope this is helpful.
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