why does a married man cheat on his wife
I often think this, if my husbandÁs not, and the husbands of our lovely married couple friends arenÁt cheating (you donÁt suspect, anyway) then whoÁs doing all the cheating? Women often say they were Áblindsided,Á or that their husbands began an affair after 20 years of marriage, or maybe it happened once and they donÁt really talk about it. But itÁs such a common topic, yet no one I know thinks their guy is the one whoÁs cheating. So who is? Who is? Do all men cheat and itÁs just some secret code they have with each other to behave in front of the wives? No, says New York based relationship expert and upscale dating site
co-founder Rori Sassoon. SheÁs counseled cheaters (and the cheated on) many times throughout her career and breaks it down like this: ÁNo, they donÁt all cheat,Á Rori laughs. ÁI hope they donÁt all cheat because IÁm married to one for 17 years. Also, itÁs not only a male thing. A lot of men get cheated on by a woman. A lot of women cheat. I have so many male clients who are handsome and successful and their wives cheated because the guys are emotionally lazy and canÁt communicate. Á Rori says if youÁre a womanÁor a manÁwho thinks that ÁyouÁve been there and havenÁt been in healthy relationship yet. Á ÁA statement like that gives men a bad rap. There are so many good men out there,Á she says, but also explains the ÁtypeÁ to cheat. ÁMen are not communicative creatures by nature, while women want to be heard and talk about feelings. Men shut down. If they have a talkative woman, sheÁs labeled a nag and a pain in the ass. So they get attention from another woman and they think it will be different. ThatÁs why Ashley Madison is so popular. These men think IÁll have my affair and go back to my wife and family. Á But Rori says it often catches up to them when the woman they are cheating with also gets attached emotionally. ÁSoon enough, youÁre fooling around with a stalker and sheÁs going to out you,Á she says. ÁThe more time they spend with someoneÁyou think itÁs just sexÁit becomes a relationship and.
Then she wants the wife out of the picture. Á Another type of cheater, Rori says, is a guy who married too young. ÁThen mid-life happens and theyÁve only had one partner or maybe two, but a man wants to feel like heÁs got it. HeÁs gotten better looking and more successful, so he goes after other women. Á Another type is Ásomeone who is such a player and so insecure and had a horrific relationship with their mother. Á ÁSo they always need to be flexing that muscle makes them feel good in that people want them. ThatÁs really not a good person and theyÁre going to cheat anyway. Á Rori says there are clues that determine the cheating type who cheats for the sake of cheating. ÁIf youÁre in a relationship and a small crisis happens and they are so selfish they only think how it will affect them. If there is a sensitivity chip missing and they donÁt care about hurting people. How do they feel about other peopleÁs pain? A guy who outright cheats is either a sociopath or not a good person. With the exception of certain cultures where its very normal for a man to. But if youÁre just bored, thatÁs sh***y. Á In the end, time will always tell, Rori says. ÁNo, not every guy cheats, you have to know who youÁre getting in bed with and what they are all about,Á she says. ÁTime will always tell and go with your gutÁwill this person hurt you or not? If they are disappointing you over and over they will more often than not cheat. Á The number one reason sheÁs found for why the men who donÁt cheat couldnÁt go through with it if the opportunity arose? ÁSuperstition. People are afraid of karma. They think if they invite this person into their life is going to bite me in the ass? Á The bottom line is Áif youÁre not happy in your relationship, get therapy. Á ÁTry to work it outÁor get out the right way. Then then youÁre clean and kosher. Á Why do successful married men cheat on their wifeÁs?
This question has been brought to the forefront since Arnold Schwarzenegger made public that he had cheated on his long time spouse Maria Shriver with one of the staff members of their home. Many psychologists, psychiatrists and marriage councelors have come up with many theories for why successful men like Schwarzenegger, Bill Clinton or John F. Kennedy has cheated on their wifeÁs. This has been analyzed over and over again yet the answer is quite obvious, THEY CAN. This is not stating that all men would cheat if given the opportunity; it is simply showing one reason for why a lot of successful men do. Many married men do not want to cheat on their spouse, yet eventually they do. The chance for extramarital excitement is too much. For the average man this may come in the form of an old girlfriend that suddenly appears on the scene or perhaps a co worker that has tempted him to cross the forbidden line. But these opportunities are normally few. The average man does not have the same opportunities as successful or famous men such as Tiger Woods or Donald Trump. Chances are the most devoted husband would give in to temptation if opportunities are there for him. A perfect example of this would be Hugh Hefner when he first started Playboy. It wasnÁt very long after the success of Playboy that Hefner gave into temptation and cheated on his first wife. Now the question to address is, why is there a temptation to cheat? This temptation is not present for all men, but it is definitely there for many. To illustrate the point in a way that most can relate to, picture marriage as the same as being on a diet. ThatÁs right, compare marriage to being on a diet! But this particular diet is very strict and allows you to eat only one type of food or meal. LetÁs look at a man that is in his mid 20Ás and enjoys eating many different kinds of foods. One day he is told that he must settle down and choose only one food to eat for the rest of his life. Imagine that the one food he truly wants is not available for various reasons.
Now he must settle for another type of food. So instead of enjoying a Lasagna dinner every night, he must settle for spaghetti and meatballs. The man may like spaghetti and meatballs, but he will always be dreaming of lasagna. LetÁs suppose other men get their original choice and have the pleasure of dining on lasagna every day of their lives. Eventually, no matter how tasty and exciting that lasagna was when he started this very limited diet, he will get tired of eating the same meal day after day. This same man will eventually dream of a tasty steak or perhaps some chicken, fish or maybe even some ice-cream! But this would be cheating! The man must stay true to his diet and eat lasagna and lasagna only day after day! LetÁs look at the average man. The average man usually has a set routine where he goes to work every day and returns home to his family where his loving wife will serve him the same meal every day, with very little variation to his daily routine. Now, letÁs look at a very successful or famous man. This person is always on the move and his life is hardly routine. There are many business luncheons or dinners at very expensive and fancy restaurants that serve an amazingly diverse and tempting array of delicious foods. LetÁs not forget special charity events and parties where the food is supplied by top notch caterers and chefs. Waving such temptations under the nose of any man on a diet would surely make a man question the harm of taking a taste or small bite. There are some successful men that can resist this temptation but it seems that most cannot. So think twice the next time you hear the old phrase, Áman cannot live on bread aloneÁ. About Author Alex Wise is a blog contributor and dating consultant for Loveawake. com dating site, which launched in July 2009 and has been providing original free dating services and relationship advices, tips, articles, reviews, and videos to readers ever since. Follow him on the company site or on and
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