why do so many bad things happen to me
If youÁre superstitious, and even if youÁre not, youÁve probably heard an axiom or two about bad things and the way they unfold. In fact, you may have collected years worth of evidence proving theyÁre true. However, if youÁve ever asked yourself, ÁWhy do bad things happen to me? Á the answer likely much simpler than you think and has little to do with ÁthreesÁ or being caught up in a roll of bad luck. This week my daughter hurt her hand at school and came home with swelled fingers that quickly turned black and blue. Of course, it makes sense that sheÁd bang her leg walking past a chair and no surprise that she smashed her hip sitting down for dinner. She lamented her terrible luck and asked, ÁWhy? Why me? Á Sigh. Yeah. Getting banged around sucks, but she was ready for the next bad thing to come because she was cursed by an evil sorceress. Oh, hold-up. No, she wasnÁt. HereÁs whatÁs really at play when bad stuff keeps happening Á youÁre looking for it and are hyper-attuned to it. Wait! What? ThatÁs it? No way. You may be thinking that you donÁt want this bad stuff to happen, and youÁre not making it up. I believe you, that itÁs one crappy thing after another, but that youÁve got blinders on to the good things that are also present.
Those blinders cause you to dismiss positive experiences because they donÁt align with the bad. IÁve written before about the art of holding both and in this case, thatÁs allowing for bad things to happen in your life without it becoming mostly bad or your default expectation. Yin and yang are always at play, and where there is darkness, there is also light Á you just have to look for it. What kind of car do you drive? OR What kind of car do you plan to buy in the near future? When you bought it, (or now, right before your purchase) did you suddenly see many more drivers on the road with the same make and model? ThereÁs some good news; youÁre not cursed or ill-fated, and youÁre definitely not doomed. YouÁre just looking in the wrong place. Bad Things Happen. Stop Working So Hard to Prove Yourself Right
You look for things to prove yourself right. We all do it. When my daughter getting banged and bruised, for example, she surmised, ÁIÁm clumsy. Á (sheÁs not) She also decided that bad things happen to her far more than the average person which is also not true.
When bad things are coming your way (didnÁt get the job offer, lost wallet, dropped your lunch before you could eat itÁ) what do you tell yourself? Bet it sounds something like: ÁIt figures. Á Not a powerful or positive message to send yourself. That one thought encourages you to gloss over the good even when itÁs in your face. Stop convincing yourself that you are in a crap vortex and itÁs pulling bad things your way. While youÁre at it, stop working so hard to prove yourself right that you deserve the bad or that you brought it on Á you donÁt and you didnÁt. Mounting evidence doesnÁt make it true. Want your bad day, week or month to go poof? Be intentional and look for facts that back up your opposing perspective. Bad stuff going on? Look for facts that prove the good. Not every day is going to be your best, but chances are, even in the worst, thereÁs a glimmer of good waiting for you. ItÁs up to you to shift your mindset from looking for the next bad thing to looking for the good. As we discovered with the car exercise above, you find more of something when you look for it.
If youÁre in a Áwhy do bad things happen to meÁ place in your life, chances are the ÁbadÁ side flowed easily. However, once you forced your brain to see the good, they started to flow too. If youÁre in a Ámy life is awesomeÁ place in your life, the flip is likely true for you. If this silly LEGO video set to one of my favorite Weird Al songs of all time doesnÁt put things into perspective, I donÁt know what will. First of all I am sorry that bad things happen to you,you don't deserve it. No one does, not even a "bad kid" deserves these things happening to them. I think that it is fair to say that regardless of whom you are as a person and what you offer to the world, if a bad thing does happen to you in the end it only makes you stronger, yes we shouldn't want bad things happening to us but we also shouldn't have this attitude in which we question why. Questioning and saying "why me? " forces you to dwell on this and puts you down, this energy can be used and channelled to work on coping and recovering from these bad things. After all that's the most important thing, moving forward.
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