why do people get divorced after 30 years of marriage
Why Are Most Divorces Filed by Women? A generation ago, women were less likely to file for divorce if in an unhappy or abusive marriage. Most were financially dependent on their spouse and feared the social stigma of divorce. Today women are more likely to have careers of their own, are less financially dependent on their spouse and no longer fear the social stigma of divorce. Women are more educated and more empowered, which keeps them from accepting abuse or a marriage that is not meeting their needs. Below Are A 6 Reasons Why Most Divorces Are Initiated By Women: 1. Seeking Relief From a Bad Marriage:
A womanБs happiness is no longer tied to whether or not she is married. There was a time whenб to be happy a woman though she had to be married. Such a mindset led women to believe they were БstuckБ in a marriage that had gone bad. Those days are over and most women will file for divorce rather than deal with the stress of a bad marriage. Some throw in the towel too soon. Some work to find a solution to the problems in their marriage. In the end, if a woman feels she can no longer deal with the constant stress of a bad marriage she will not hesitate to file for a divorce and move on with her life. 2. Escape Domestic Abuse: Women are less likely to stay in an abusive marriage today. There was a time when a woman had no choice but to stay. She was financially dependent on her spouse, under his control and had no options for leaving.
Today there are many resources for victims of domestic abuse. Shelters, restraining orders and no-fault divorce laws make it easier for a financially dependent wife to escape an abusive marriage. 3. Fewer Women are Financially Dependent on a Husband: In todayБs society, women are more likely to have their own career. Even stay at home moms have college degrees and marketable skills to fall back on should they divorce. Because of financial independence divorce, for women is an easy decision to make. A career minded woman doesnБt have to worry about how she will support herself after divorce. Due to this, the prospect of divorce causes less anxiety and stress. She is confident in her ability to divorce and move on because she has the power that comes with being financially secure. With money comes security and an unwillingness to stay in an abusive or unhappy marriage. 4. Women are Less Tolerant of Infidelity: Due to her financial security and her ability to identify what makes her happy, womenБs expectations of their husband are higher. One of those expectations is fidelity and today, fewer women are willing to accept infidelity in their marriage. Instead of being a housewife, todayБs wife in an equal partner. Most share the financial burdens of keeping the family together. Most do the majority of the child rearing on top of dealing with the demands of their careers. When a husband cheats, they are less willing to accept such behavior from an Бequal partner.
Б Why should they continue to exert so much effort to maintain the family to only have that investment repaid by infidelity? 5. Women Want More Out of Marriage: A generation ago, women wanted to be supported, to become mothers and cheerleaders for their husbandБs career. Women were more willing to put their needs on the back burner for the sake of the marriage. Today women are in touch with their needs and want their needs met. Women want an intimate and emotional connection with their husband. They want communication, togetherness and a husband as driven to meet their needs as they are to meet his needs. The problem? Some men still view their wives as Бthe little womanБ and fewer and fewer women are willing to be put in such a role. 6. Women Loose Their Identity: Some wives spend so much time focused on raising children, helping their husband further his career and putting their needs last that they loose sight of who they are and what they want out of life. It is not unusual for a woman to hit middle age and go into a midlife crisis. She will begin to question the life she has led and wonder, Бis that all there is? Б She may file for a divorce in order to explore life on her own in the hope of finding out who she is and what she wants out of life. There are a myriad of reasons a woman will file for divorce. Whether it is to seek her own happiness, escape from an abusive marriage or midlife crisis the one thing most who divorce have in common is a new sense of empowerment.
Women view themselves as equal to men and for some marriage takes away that power instead of promoting it. Hi there. Oh, I m just SO terribly sorry. That must really be beyond painful. My dad left my mom after 25 years of marriage and hooked himself up to a 22 year old woman. (amazing how many of us can have similar stories, isn t it? ). My mother was in her 40 s and just couldn t believe it. They did have issues in the last years of marriage, I must say. But she still fell apart when he left. And the added sting of having him go straight to a younger woman. Talk about crushing one s confidence, ego and belief in happy endings. She was lost and scared. It was hard on the entire family, to be honest. I ve thought a lot about why my dad left. I m sure there are things I ll never know. My parents married very young in their teens. You must have as well if you were married for 30 years and he is 47. My dad is a brilliant man---- he spent his college years working all night in a factory to support his family (my mom and sister and then me) while going to school during the day on scholarship. He graduated with a perfect 4. 0 and went on to get his masters while still working at night. But. he didn t go to the university of his choice. He lost those youthful years due to being married so young and having kids and major responsibilities.
His career blossemed and took off but I believe that he always felt like he missed out on something by the choices he made due to family so young and resented my mom for it. Ugh. It hurts just writing it as if that was HER fault!! But that played a role. He also never valued marriage as she did nor was he as religious. All factoring into the equation. Then a young woman paid attention to him and he just lost his head. They married and are now long divorced as well. But that is just my own dad. I don t know what caused your husband to leave. I would highly recommend that you start some counseling for yourself to work through the emotions. Sometimes, the cheater will decide to come back and that is for you to decide if you want him back if that becomes your situation. But in the mean time, you take care of YOURSELF. Work out plans for your finances and do not allow him to bully you in anyway about that. Support is common in the states and you get what you are entitled to. If you have kids, keep the ins and outs of this away from them. I was in college when my parents divorced and knew way too much. It has made me always side with my mother. It did do damage to my relationship with my father. I just tell you this---------- he is clearly the bad guy----- and your kids will know that. But try not to bring them into the issues. Again, I m so sorry and am here if you ever need to talk. Peace.
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