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why do pirates wear eye patches joke

Isn t anybody going to answer this question in a serious way? Pirates didn t wear eye patches, and they didn t have hooks or peg legs. They didn t say arrrr either. These are all figments of the modern imagination, and got started with Robert Louis Stevenson s Treasure Island. Hollywood took it up, and every pirate movie had half-blind people stumping around. In real life, a person with one leg CAN T FIGHT IN HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT. Hooks are expensive, and also mean that the individual is useless working on a ship, being unable to pull ropes and hold on to rigging.

A one-handed pirate can only fight one-handed (remember, hook of that day were not planted in the bone, they just strapped onto the forearm). Someone with one eye is at an extreme handicap in a sword fight because he loses the ability to accurately judge depth, which is important when people are stabbing at you with swords. The ship s articles of pirate crews (sort of a contract everyone signed), several of which have survived, specified disability payments out of any booty taken to compensate injured pirates for the loss of a leg or hand or eye, because they were finished as pirates.

Recently, some academic supposedly posited the hypothesis (in the absence of any historical evidence whatsoever) that pirates wore eye patches so that, during a day battle, they could remove the patch when going into the dark below-decks area of the ship. Said academic didn t bother to research whether pirates wore eye patches, which they did not. So, there are no artifacts because it s just plain bullshit.
I don t understand this attitude of she should have a sense of humor about her disability!!

I mean, yes, a person who can laugh at themselves (including an obvious physical disability they posses) has a great sense of humor and that is attractive. But I m not going to insult them for not laughing about it. I mean, if someone with cancer laughs about their chemo-induced bald head, good for them! But it would make me a real jackass if I told them to lighten up and have a sense of humor if they were self conscious about it.

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