why do people choose hanging for suicide
I think that alcohlol and or drugs may have a lot to do with it. When someone is depressed to begin with add a depressant to the equasion and there you have it. You want out NOW! There is no other solution and your brain cannot function clearly under the influence. There is no reason or thought of anything good. Your reasoning skills go to sleep. The world has crashed down on you and you have lost all hope. No one cares nothing will ever change and everyone would be better off without you anyway. Guaranteed the majority of suicides are under the influence or have a severe mental disorder to begin with. Can t say I have never thought of it or come close myself. Sometimes life just sucks and to live is to die so why bother?
You practice tying your knots, sitting in a chair in your basement. Today is Friday, and you don t really have anything planned tomorrow. You ve already eaten breakfast, showered, and got dressed. All you re waiting for now is the time to leave.
But you re not leaving this world just yet, no. You are ready to kill yourself, but still you aren t sure. You decide to see how the rest of the day will play out before you decide to do anything. You put the rope down, and go to your bus stop. The ride to school is just like any other. You flash your bus pass, and take a seat in the back. No one looks at you, no one approaches you, and no one sits next to you. You wait patiently for someone to try talking to you, but as you wait and wait, you re already at school. You head to your first class. No thing out of the ordinary. You sit near the front, with people on all sides of you, yet not one of them notices your dark aura that you emit. You feel invisible. You d figure that your friends would notice, and say something. You don t want to make the first move because you decided to see how much people really care about you. If they really cared, they would have said something by now.
Your next class you sit at the back, and purposely act like something is wrong. People notice this time, but decide to leave you alone, thinking all you need is space. See, no one cares about you. It s lunch time and you sit alone at the cafeteria, eating your food like you usually do, only this time, you eat slower. You savour each and every bite, knowing that it may be your last meal. Wait, someone is approaching you. It s one of your friends. Are they going to say something? Hey, can I take this chair? Oh. you just wanted the extra chair so you can sit with the others. Fine, take it. Your third and fourth class were just like the first. Not even the teachers decided to ask what was wrong. They all think it s just one of those days where people are exhausted and just want to be home. You know it s weird, most of the people here are in positive moods, yet you re just sitting there, writing your suicide note.
I guess someone could peek over your shoulder and question you on what you re doing, but everyone already knows you for writing dark and depressing stories. Wasn t that enough of a hint for you people? Home time. You hop on the bus and take your usual seat. You judge how the day went. No one seemed to give a damn about you. You looked absolutely wrecked and yet nobody noticed or said anything about it. They just ignored it completely. You arrive home and have a snack. Soon after, you head to the basement and start tying your knots. Once everything is ready, you stand on the chair and wear the necklace of rope. You think about this. You think about your suicide note in your room. You think about how the lives of the people you know will (not)change. You think about who will (not)miss you, and who you ll miss. You think Huh, maybe I should have talked to [girl i like] today.
No. It would have only made me want to do this more. You take your last breath and think of a nice scene. You kick the chair, and the necklace of rope tightens. You fall. A few seconds, and it would have been over. But no. The universe fucks up your life to the point where you want to kill yourself, now, it fucks you up again. You only stop momentarily. As you dangle there, the knots fail, and you fall again. I survived suicide. No one can know about this. You untangle the rope, and make sure there is no damage to where you hung it. You put the chair neatly away, and head upstairs. You take the suicide note and hide it. You turn the TV on and act like a regular person. When your parents get home, there is no evidence of what just happened. They will never know. When you get back to school on Monday, you will be a regular person. No one will ever know. Now, every night before you go to sleep, you think What if I tried it again?
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