why do people with bipolar withdraw from relationships

Hi,
I know that it has been awhile since you last posted, but ironically I was online, trying to look for help again and found my own post (to you! ) lol First, I hope that things have improved with your boyfriend. You say he was diagnosed as bipolar II, ironically I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II as well. I took a 2 month break from my meds and now I am really messed up, so I thought that I would respond to you again because I have again shut-down so I can offer an even better perspective (maybe) on what your boyfriend is going through. I have been dating a man for 2 months and already I am shutting-down and pushing away. Why? I need every ounce of my energy to survive right now. I cannot be there for anyone else but me. This may sound selfish, but it is survival (mental and emotional survival) Think back to a situation you have been in that has seemed insurmoutable (the intense anxiety, heart rate increase, racing thoughts) and then picture yourself being in it for days. Nothing anyone says helps. No love from others changes anything. You are chained and a captive and you can not escape. You can think of nothing else but getting away. Ironically, this mood will not last long, but while you are in it it is all you know.


You cannot picture happiness. In a few days (once my meds kick in) I will be me again. But in the meantime I am a slave to my emotions. All I can muster (activity wise) is searching frantically online for answers. (even though I KNOW I am bipolar) I want it to be something else (a food allergy) or that I am simply a highly sensitive person, an empath, etc but I know what it is. ;( I hope that wasn't too depressing. And I hope that it was helpful. On a positive note, we can be sooooo loving because we are really in touch with our souls, but we need someone that understands us and doesn't take it personal. Hopefully he stays on his meds because that will make all the diffeence in the world. I started back on my medication today, so when I read this in a few weeks, I won't understand why I typed this to you because I won't be in this mood any longer. I will probably worry that it was too negative and that I can't believe I posted it. This is one of the weirdest parts of the disorder (to me). Emotional amnesia. When I am hyper/manic, I couldn't explain depression to you. But when I am down or anxious, I cannot envision happiness for the life of me.


But when I am medicated I am stable. I am not manic/hyper, nor depressed. I just am. Having a relationship when you live with bipolar disorder is difficult. But it's not impossible. It takes work on the part of both partners to make sure the marriage survives. The first step is to get diagnosed and treated for your condition. Your doctor can prescribe mood stabilizing, such as, with to help control your symptoms. Therapy with a trained psychologist or social worker is also important. With therapy you can learn to control the behaviors that are putting stress on your relationship. Having your spouse go through therapy with you can help him or her understand why you act the way you do and learn better ways to react. "I think the more a partner can learn about these things, the better role he or she can play," Haltzman says. "Being involved in treatment can really help make the treatment for bipolar disorder a collaborative effort. And it will actually increase the sense of bonding. " Though you may want to crawl into your self-imposed cocoon when you're depressed, and feel like you're on top of the world when you're manic, it's important to accept help when it's offered. "I think," Haltzman says, "it sometimes helps to have a contract. " With this contract, you can decide ahead of time under which circumstances you will agree to let your partner help you.


For the spouse of the bipolar person, knowing when to offer help involves recognizing how your partner is feeling. "You really have to work at it to understand what the other person is going through," McNulty tells WebMD. "And you have to be alert to their moods. " McNulty is now remarried to a woman who also has bipolar disorder. When one of them notices that the other is starting to slide into depression, he or she will ask, "How do you feel? " and "What do you need from me? " This gentle offering helps keep both partners on track. Take your medication as prescribed. And keep all of your appointments with your provider. Take a marriage education class. Manage your stress in whatever way works for you, whether it's writing in a journal, taking long walks, or listening to music. Try to balance work with more enjoyable activities. Stick to a regular cycle. Eat healthfully and regularly. Avoid alcohol and. If you ever think about hurting yourself or committing, get help immediately. В 2008 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.

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